Friday, September 18, 2009 One-Star Customer Reviews: The Beatles Remastered

Below are excerpts from dozens of actual Amazon Customer Reviews of the recently remastered Beatles CD's.

In each, dissatisfied customers ascribe a lowly One Star to music widely regarded as deserving Five-Star status. They also back up their rating with very specific reasons for their dissatisfaction.

In almost all cases, the syntax and spelling of the original review has been carefully preserved throughout. One-Star Reviews - Part 1: Books One-Star Reviews - Part 2: Music One-Star Reviews - Part 3: Movies

The Beatles Remastered

Sounds like polished turds.

Sadly exposes just how far the Beatles were behind the times.

This is not music.

Minus fifty stars.

Ever heard of a word called "Porduction", lads?

Each and every song put me to sleep in about 55 seconds.

There's a reason you never hear of these guys any more. They're probably all living in a shack trying to live on their little checks for "Norwegian" Wood.

The masterful Michele is impossible to listen to, it is missing that incredible Parisian atmosphere that is in the original.

You only have to listen to almost any track made in stereo across the past forty years to know it just sounds nicer when the singer's voice is coming from the center.

In Mono the Beatles guitar is magic, now it sounds like an afterthought.

I doubt if it will receive much play in my home system, because it is just too obnoxious for higher-end gear.

I'm not buying another copy of the White Album, no matter how good it sounds.

On Abbey Road, I don't know when one song ends and the other stops. They have different lead singers for every song!

I Want You(Shes So Heavy) is Lennon singing the title over and over again for about an hour.

I saw Paul Mcartney live last year and he was better than Abbey Road, and the other Beatles weren't even there.

The Technicians that created the CD version of Abbey Road should have been fired & sent back to working as shelf stackers at the local supermarket.

All I want is the Beatles, not the middlemen.

Marketing hype probably not seen since Geraldo's upcoming look into Al Capone's vault.

Remember that wonderful Paul vocal flourish at the end of the Sgt. Pepper reprise? It's back in all it's glory--but you have to shell out $230 to $300 for it.

I just plunked down $200 for some nifty packaging.

What is this? The Thatcher/Reagan/Bush approach to music?

Can't afford it. I will continue to get my Beatles out of the public library and dub them on cassette.

The Beatles rip offs never end. What about another boxset in 3 years time, maybe a fabulous release of the butcher album cover?

When will we be expected to buy the "re-mixed" re-released collection of the Beatles catalog? In 2017 when more than half of the original Beatles fan base have already died?

Sgt. Pepper's is an inferior piece of music representing an inferior generation.

I don't think normal folks are really gonna care.

Beneath the attention of an adult intellect.

I am glad the Stones are not sell outs like the Beatles.

The Beatles are NOT the best band ever. Cry baby cry.

Rich guys puttering! Who needs it?

Who would buy this when you have Pink? Get her new album instead. One-Star Reviews - Part 1: Books One-Star Reviews - Part 2: Music One-Star Reviews - Part 3: Movies

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Actually, the Stones are sellouts. They play private parties for $5million and have done commercials. I suspect if Lennon was alive, there would never have been a single commercial with his music. And they ARE one of the best bands ever. The Stones were great, but it is mostly recycled Muddy Waters. Not anything new.